I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
