If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
