i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
