How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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