and next time when you feel me up, do it right
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
