I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
