your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
