I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
