let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
