my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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