no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
