bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
