I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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