can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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