If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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