real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
