I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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