How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
