I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
