Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
