At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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