I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
