It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
