How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize