its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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