Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
