There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
