I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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