He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
