we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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