is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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