Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
