afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
