Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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