Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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