Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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