I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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