I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize