I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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