AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
