the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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