i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
