I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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