My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm jealous of your bromance
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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