I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Randomize
