If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
