We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
