He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
