I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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