If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
