At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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