It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
