So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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