how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
