There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
