Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize