he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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