why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
