Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
