so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
