oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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