when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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