Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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