Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Randomize