Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
