grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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