omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
