just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
